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Red Light/Green Light – When to Try Again
It has been two weeks since my d&c. The meeting with my doctor went as well as could be expected. The pathology and my post-op exam did not show any abnormalities. My doctor said that while some doctors recommend waiting until after the first cycle before trying to get pregnant for time to heal but primarily to be able to determine the due date, he was of the mindset that the body is ready when it’s ready (and won’t allow a pregnancy until it is ready), and he wasn’t too concerned about being able to determine the due date. This was a surprise to me as I was expecting to…
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In the Great Green Room
In the great green room was a telephone and a RED BALLOON… This little boy is such a blessing in my life, and I know that having a miscarriage would have been a completely different experience not having him keep me on my toes. Today we went to the library for story time and then to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts. It was like getting to take Scooby out on a date. I loved how he was completely silent as he shoved the doughnut in his mouth and then was covered with so much flaky sugar that I had to take him outside to brush him off. The library was teaming…
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Grief
What is healthy grieving? How can God be honored in a time of grief? These are questions I struggle with during the loss of my second pregnancy in four months. The first, a “chemical pregnancy” was much easier than this one. This one really hurts. On a day I was supposed to be congratulated for entering into the second trimester, I was saw my child still in my womb with no heart beat. Only two weeks ago I was reflecting on trusting God with my fertility, and now I feel my faith being tested. My initial reaction was one of humility, acceptance, sadness, but peace. Day two, going into the…
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When Bellies Don't Grow
When bellies don’t grow, hearts swell tears well lips quiver and sigh. Pull loved ones close draw up the sheets entangle souls and feet. Sip pink lemonade, Kiss cheeks and toes Watch the garden grow
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Faith, Fertility, and Motherhood
For your reading pleasure from 1 Samuel:1 There was a certain man from Ramathaim, a Zuphite from the hill country of Ephraim, whose name was Elkanah son of Jeroham, the son of Elihu, the son of Tohu, the son of Zuph, an Ephraimite. 2 He had two wives; one was called Hannah and the other Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah had none. 3 Year after year this man went up from his town to worship and sacrifice to the LORD Almighty at Shiloh, where Hophni and Phinehas, the two sons of Eli, were priests of the LORD. 4 Whenever the day came for Elkanah to sacrifice, he would give…
