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No More Peach Tree
No more peach tree. It was infested all up the trunks (there were multiple trunks due to poor pruning and management) with peach scale bugs that would have been difficult to treat, and after 8 years of losing crops to fungal diseases, we decided to call it quits. I shed some tears as this was a symbolic tree, the one we bought after a second miscarriage. In truth, we can’t just burry our grief in the ground and expect it to grow something beautiful. We must tend to it with a watchful eye and sometimes sharp shears to manage its growth and changes in different seasons. Sometimes a lot of…
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In A Year's Time
Today marks the one year anniversary of the loss of my baby in the twelfth week of pregnancy. It blows my mind how just a year ago I was overcome with such grief, and here a year later I can gaze into the face of this beautiful, healthy one week old baby boy. God’s blessings abounded then, and they certainly abound today. I don’t have anything particularly poignant to say other than I feel extremely thankful. Wookie seems aware that he has a big brother to catch up to. He’s gaining weight rapidly, the 0-3 month Gerber onesies are a very snug fit, he’s rolled over from his belly to…
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Balancing Act
Having arrived safely into the third trimester, I realize that my giddy glow is rapidly transforming into a grimace. Coming off of two miscarriages, I’m reluctant to delve into the general “waaah” that many pregnant women feel is their right as the weeks count down, but I also realize that I shouldn’t manufacture a cheery disposition for the sake of proving my gratitude. I’m also learning there is a fine balance between being real and being rude. For instance, merging over into a lane when I clearly saw a car (plenty far behind me) flashing her brights at me to tell me she didn’t think my merge was timely, could…
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Planting Trees
Last weekend Joe and I purchased a peach tree from Lowes and planted it along the property line next to the one we planted last spring. We planted the initial tree after my first miscarriage in March of last year. As we broke the ground with my parents, we laughed about how I always pick spots with huge rocks (these looked like cobble stones) and we dodged Scooby’s wild bamboo-pole-ninja-chopping. Though it was left unspoken between us, I feel like this new tree was planted for the baby we lost this past June. For awhile now I’ve reflected on the ability of planting trees to commemorate life in the wake…
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A Tiny Thing To Be Thankful For
I am very thankful for the first day of the second trimester! – so technically this might be the first day of the last week of the first trimester, but whatever. It’s still exciting and I’m calling it second trimester. Today, I am 12 weeks pregnant! For those who are dumbfounded that I was able to keep the secret from you, know that my own mother didn’t even know until Wednesday. After two losses in a span of four months, I think I’ve been afraid to even mention such a treasured secret out of fear it might escape me too. I took a test on October 10 after feeling extremely…
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It's A Due Date
Today marks the approximate due date of the pregnancy I lost back in March. I don’t think these things ought to be forgotten. I am thankful for healing, family, friends, and the upcoming holiday season. I was listening to some Christmas tunes on the radio this morning when Faith Hill’s song “A Baby Changes Everything” came on, and I was brought back to two Christmases ago when I was in my third trimester with Scooby, absolutely huge and so ready to meet him. There was something about being that pregnant around Christmas that really touched my heart and made me cry at nearly every song related to Mary being pregnant…
