Thoughts

A Tiny Thing To Be Thankful For

November 30, 2009 / 21 Comments

I am very thankful for the first day of the second trimester! – so technically this might be the first day of the last week of the first trimester, but whatever. It’s still exciting and I’m calling it second trimester. Today, I am 12 weeks pregnant! For those who are dumbfounded that I was able to keep the secret from you, know that my own mother didn’t even know until Wednesday. After two losses in a span of four months, I think I’ve been afraid to even mention such a treasured secret out of fear it might escape me too.

I took a test on October 10 after feeling extremely queasy at a toddler’s birthday party, and it was positive. When I went in two my first appointment a couple weeks later, I expected to be about 7.5 weeks along, but the baby measured 8 weeks, 4 days. So much for knowing my fertility dates, because my body was doing its own thing. That makes me due June 14, the same day as Amy’s due date. I have another friend due a week before and yet another due the week after.

At the first appointment, while I was waiting in the doctor’s office for “the chat”, I started breaking down in tears out of total fear, assuming I had probably already lost the baby. When the doctor saw my face, he said, “Why don’t we just go take a look before we talk.” Sure enough, there was a baby with a beating heart, which we were able to see but not hear yet because of the position. He said “It looks like a keeper,” to which I replied, “That’s what you said last time…” He told me I could come back in two weeks to take another look to ease my mind. We did return and the baby was measuring 10 weeks, 4 days, waving its arms and kicking and going strong with a heartbeat of 146. The doctor has said that everything about this pregnancy looks great and I have no reason to worry.

Thanks for your prayers and encouragement along the way, and please continue to pray over this little one. While the doctor’s reassurance is wonderful, I still find myself on edge and nervous. I almost wanted to keep the secret until 20 weeks, but I don’t think that would have been healthy. I read a post by a woman recently that said something along the lines of this: We have joy now. We don’t know what the future holds, but there is no reason to grieve now what may not happen. So, I am choosing joy now and excited to finally share that with my friends and family. Also, as I have shared in the past, we can find joy in the hard times as well. There is always joy, because there is always hope in Jesus.

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