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Identity Crisis of Faith
In the past 28 months, I’ve been pregnant for just under 50% of the time, with one healthy boy to show for it. Of the time I was not pregnant, I was sleep deprived for about 25-30% of the time. Part of that time was coupled with feeling nearly driven over the edge by insomnia. So to ask me, “are things getting back to normal?”, I’d have to ask you, “normal as in sleep deprived adjusting to being a new…
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The Little Things (Another miscarriage post)
When you think you have moved on from the loss of an unborn child, you can let your guard down and be blindsided by the little things. The jealousy that creeps up has been hardest for me to deal with – you know the kind – a friend finding out the gender of her baby, overhearing a stranger’s pregnancy announcement at the table next to you in a restaurant, seeing a family with four kids all close in age (even…
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Red Light/Green Light – When to Try Again
It has been two weeks since my d&c. The meeting with my doctor went as well as could be expected. The pathology and my post-op exam did not show any abnormalities. My doctor said that while some doctors recommend waiting until after the first cycle before trying to get pregnant for time to heal but primarily to be able to determine the due date, he was of the mindset that the body is ready when it’s ready (and won’t allow…
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High Five
Our fifth anniversary was a good one. On Saturday, we loaded up the Jeep and drove to Shelby to stay with Joe’s parents for two nights before heading off to Brevard, NC sans baby. We watched the King’s Mountain fireworks that evening and the next day lounged around, ate a delicious home cooked lunch and took a short walk before Joe’s grandparents came in for a visit. Monday we drove to Brevard and had several hours to explore before we…
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In the Great Green Room
In the great green room was a telephone and a RED BALLOON… This little boy is such a blessing in my life, and I know that having a miscarriage would have been a completely different experience not having him keep me on my toes. Today we went to the library for story time and then to Krispy Kreme for doughnuts. It was like getting to take Scooby out on a date. I loved how he was completely silent as he…
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Grief
What is healthy grieving? How can God be honored in a time of grief? These are questions I struggle with during the loss of my second pregnancy in four months. The first, a “chemical pregnancy” was much easier than this one. This one really hurts. On a day I was supposed to be congratulated for entering into the second trimester, I was saw my child still in my womb with no heart beat. Only two weeks ago I was reflecting…
